Eight years ago, just days before AMC broadcast the last episode of “Mad Men,” a headline in one of the pre-Peter Thiel Gawker websites caught my eye: “Mad Men Characters, Ranked,” written by Drew Magary.
At the time, I worked in creative, and we loved “Mad Men.” Each Monday during the season, my staff and I set aside 30 minutes to discuss the creative from the previous evening’s episode.
Magary ranked Roger Sterling as his Number #1 character, followed by Don Draper. There was no methodology to his ranking, other than designing a list that would incite “Mad Men” fans and stir the pot.
Magary’s ranking got me to thinking about how to rank “Mad Men” characters using a methodology. I designed a spreadsheet filled with lots and lots of numbers. Using IMDB’s database, I culled the names of 94 characters. I then assigned each character a 1-5 point score (5=highest; 1=lowest; 0=not applicable) in these categories:
- Sex Appeal
- Personality
- Charisma
- Courage
- Creativity
- Personal Growth
- Eccentricity
- Self-Loathing
- Business Savvy
- Sense of Entitlement
- Rage
- Outsider?
- Number of Episodes
The 2015 results totally shocked me. Rachel Menken and Bob Benson tied for my #1. Don Draper was ranked #12. I published these results on my old blog, Dedalus, Jr., which I maintained to fly my freak flag while employed by folks who did not appreciate freaks.
In those eight years, I have pondered this outcome and concluded that one of the categories – Number of Episodes – needed to be weighted, and another – Sense of Entitlement – needed some revaluation. Contact me if you want a copy of the spreadsheet.
Here are my 2023 rankings of “Mad Men” characters (with point totals):
- Rachel Menken (56)
- Bob Benson (52)
- Roger Sterling (50; tie)
- Manolo (50)
- Betty Hofstadt/Draper/Francis (49; tie)
- Kurt (49)
- Don Draper (48; tie)
- Sally Draper (48)
- Michael Ginsberg (48)
- Margaret Hargrove (48)
- Megan Calvet Draper (47; tie)
- Salvatore Romano (47)
- Midge Daniels (47)
- Abe Drexler (46; tie)
- Jim Hobart (46)
- Conrad Hilton (45; tie)
- Jimmy Barrett (45)
- Peggy Olson (44; tie)
- Pete Campbell (44)
- Joan Harris (44)
- Pima Ryan (44)
- Ken Cosgrove (43; tie)
- Dawn Chambers (43)
- Duck Phillips (43)
- Bonnie Whiteside (43)
- Lee Cabot (43)
- Lane Pryce (42; tie)
- Paul Kinsey (42)
- Mona Sterling (42)
- Glen Bishop (42)
- Miss Blankenship (42)
- Marie Calvet (42)
- Hobo (42)
- Joy (42)
- Henry Francis (41; tie)
- Greg Harris (41)
- Shirley (41)
- Lee Garner Jr. (41)
- Bert Cooper (40)
- Dr. Faye Miller (39; tie)
- Dr. Arnold Rosen (39)
- Helen Bishop (39)
- Smitty (39)
- Trudy Campbell (38; tie)
- Freddy Rumsen (38)
- Beth Dawes (38)
- Lee Garner, Sr. (38)
- Sylvia Rosen (37)
- Anna Draper (36; tie)
- Dorothy ‘Dot’ Campbell (36)
- Bobbie Barrett (36)
- Rebecca Pryce (35; tie)
- Ted Chaough (35)
- Stan Rizzo (35)
- Frank Gleason (34)
- Tom Vogel (33; tie)
- Jane Sterling (33)
- Carla (32; tie)
- Lou Avery (32)
- Jennifer Crane (30; tie)
- Jim Cutler (30)
- Bobby Draper (29; tie)
- Lieutenant Donald Draper (29)
- Suzanne Farrell (29)
- Allison (29)
- Hildy (29)
- Julio (29)
- PFC Dinkins (27; tie)
- Abigail Whitman (27)
- Gene Hofstadt (27)
- Nan Chaough (27)
- Viola (26; tie)
- Harry Crane (26)
- John Mathis (26)
- Meredith (25; tie)
- Burt Peterson (25)
- Ferg Donnelly (25)
- Adam Whitman (24; tie)
- Carlton Hanson (24)
- Cynthia Cosgrove (24)
- Gene Draper (24)
- Joey Baird (24)
- Lois Sadler (24)
- Ed Baxter (24)
- Francine Hanson (23; tie)
- Clara (23)
- Brooks Hargrove (23)
- Mirabelle Ames (23)
- Gail Holloway (21)
- Anita Olson Respola (20; tie)
- Katherine Olson (20)
- Moira (20)
- Donna (20)
- Caroline (17)
Banner courtesy of AMC
Third Ed Novak 