“Mother, 2020 is the year where all the old Christmas traditions get thrown in the dumpster fire,” Olympia said. “But at least we have a fake Christmas tree,” her mother responded. The final installment of the short-story series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Charlize Theron
Eight Maids A-Milking
Hopper Tilley-Blandin paused at his latest crossroad. This time, the choice was not between this random thing or that random thing. It was not even a choice between the two women, his ex-wife Ingrid Brzezinski or Charlize Theron, the girlfriend who had been on-and-off ghosting him since the onset of the pandemic. No, his choice: retreat to the safety of his family or move forward with someone outside the protective, insulated shell provided his family. The eighth installment of the short-story series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Seven Swans A-Swimming
Reese Witherspoon is hosting a Zoom call with Edward Norton, Charlize Theron, Hopper Tilley-Blandin, and Hopper’s parents. The working title of the movie they are discussing is “The Living Canvases.” Hopper hates the title. The seventh installment of the series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Six Geese A-Laying
Silver, Olympia, Hopper, and their parents received an unexpected message from Mia Gottschall, a New York attorney who represented mostly artists and writers and their families. Among Gottschall’s clients was the singer Fiona Apple, whom Silver and Olympia called “Mother Apple.” The sixth installment of the short-story series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Five Golden Rings
The following text exchanges were captured from the mobile devices of Huey Newton Wallace, Huey’s ex-girlfriend Olympia Tilley-Blandin, Ingrid Brzezinski, Ingrid’s ex-husband Hopper Tilley-Blandin, the actress Charlize Theron. The fifth installment of the short-story series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Four Calling Birds
"Christmas? What's that? I guess that I we can do some kind of Facetime or Zoom with Birgit. Exchange gifts over Amazon. Pray that we stay healthy while we wait for the vaccine." The fourth installment of the short-story series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas.”
Three French Hens
How very glad and relieved she was that Reese had not let slip to anyone where she was located. She was also glad that she did not celebrate American holidays like Thanksgiving. It would have only disappointed the expectations of her friends and agent that she did not land a photo on TMZ for her sumptuous, envy-inducing feast. The third installment of the series, “The 12 Days of the Tilley-Blandin Coronavirus Christmas."
Ingrid and Hopper Seek Counseling on Zoom
Hopper reached for her hand, which she accepted. They gently squeezed hands in a way that reminded her of the same way they had squeezed hands during marriage counseling before their divorce.
Hopper’s 15 Minutes of Peace Amid the Pandemic
Sometimes, sweet Jesus Lord of all that is holy and mighty in this universe, I just wish mom and dad had installed an outhouse on this godforsaken property so a guy could get some privacy and a place to just think without his ex-wife pounding on the door asking when I’m going to be done.