- Announcement that you are taking a road trip to Florida two days after the national emergency was declared. Florida?!?!?
- Close-up of you looking impossibly fabulous and smug in a swimming suit in the saltwater pool in your backyard in the Hamptons on an 89-degree day.
- Selfie taken at a BLM protest with your BFF’s. Everyone is white and smiling like it’s a party and no one is wearing a mask.
- Sharing that photo of you eating the wings at a strip club 438 miles from where you’re supposed to be.
- Drone images of the 300-foot yacht on which you are quarantining.
- Close-up of that Fennel-Dusted Pacific Halibut with a Mélange of Our Garden’s Vegetables taken from inside a 3-star Michelin restaurant the day after your governor banned indoor dining.
- Before and after photos showing results of skin lightning creams. Wait…you should never post those photos.
- That video of you crashing a hang glider on the Outer Banks three hours before the island closed to tourists because, you know, fear of the tourists.
- You with your arm around a much younger woman who is not your wife and you both have your pants unzipped. And you are on a yacht.
- That video of you playing guitar and singing a Neil Young medley at that open mic night from two years ago.
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Third Ed Novak 