The ordinary life follows a smooth line
No bumps, no bruises, no coarseness, no edge
Men will shave their faces to creates a surface so fine
Stay back, watch your step, don’t get close to the ledge

Our lives risk the risk of be remembered as boring
Brave souls can seek amusement and entertainment in the banal
Eating, working, sleeping and snoring
But I have another idea to toss into the corral

Transform your face into a canvas
Allow your whiskers to fly their flags of freak
Hipsters and oldsters alike seek the status
Of the mustache, beard, or goatee that is so chic

Grow the ‘stache like your favorite porn star
Let is all grow and unleash your inner Santa Claus
A goatee and you’ll be mistaken for the Czar
Or the Great and Powerful Oz  

But wait, your nose is running
And you want to eat that Philly cheese steak
Everything lands in your whiskers with such cunning
You surrender for skin as smooth as a snake