The Naked Emperor: Part 5 — Military

Part 5 of a seven-part series on political issues whose common ground we find it hardest to discover because of the unbridled passion, shaky rhetoric, and lack of empathy often employed in public discussions.

Today, we turn our attention to Donald Trump’s suitability to lead the most powerful military apparatus in the world.  

As we approach November 3, 2020, allow me to perform an appraisal of our emperor’s new clothes. To paraphrase fashion arbiter Tim Gunn, do Trump’s clothes “make it?”

Trump’s Socks: Where Cadet Bone Spurs is Our Greatest Military Leader of All Time

American military might and dominance never been questioned (except by Donald Trump, when he stated last December, “Our military, quite frankly, was very depleted.”).

Donald Trump has signed Pentagon budgets, finally visited the troops, and made grand pronouncements about his leadership. However, our Commander-in-Chief’s relationship with our armed forces is so complicated that I’m just going to keep it to bullet points:

  • Trump never served in any branch of the United State military, earning the nickname “Cadet Bone Spurs” from a Purple Heart veteran who currently serves in the U.S. Senate.
  • Early in his first term, Trump heaped praise upon “his generals.
  • Trump has been unusually critical of NATO and demonstrated little interest in working with our traditional allies.
  • It has been credibly reported that Trump referred to members of the military who sacrificed their lives in service to our country as “losers” and “suckers.”
    • We are pretty sure he was with his former Chief of Staff (and Marine general) John Kelly when he used these words.
    • There’s also his criticism of the late war hero and U.S. Senator John McCain for having been captured by the enemy during the Vietnam War.
  • This might seem minor, but… Trump falsely claimed to have given active duty personnel their first raise in 10 years. The military have received pay raises every year since 1983. Trump’s raise was the largest in 10 years – although Obama gave a larger raise in 2010.
  • On its face, Trump’s Space Force seems like an earnest effort, but if the Pentagon leadership does not want it (see every bullet point above), the bureaucracy will defeat Trump. The achievements of this sixth branch of the military will probably never exceed those of Steve Carrell’s “Space Force.”


Joe Biden has plans for restoring America’s position as a world leader, veterans, and military veterans. He seems to have the support of many in the military community. The Pentagon may also be relieved to have a Commander-in-Chief who believes in chain of command instead of issuing decrees on Twitter. You would not want to frag this C-in-C.

Please vote for Joe Biden and encourage others to exercise their right to vote. Thanks for your consideration.

Next: Trump’s Pants: Where the Immigrants are Coming to Rape and Murder You in Your Sleep and Where No One’s Child Gets Lost in the System

Previous: Trump’s Hair: Where the Police are Unfairly Vilified by Thugs and Terrorists


The author served as Director of Communications for the Pennsylvania Department of Banking and Securities under Republican and Democratic administrations from 2008-2018. His opinions do not necessarily reflect the policies and views of the department or those of current Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf.

2 thoughts on “The Naked Emperor: Part 5 — Military

  1. Pingback: Why Joe Biden Makes Better Sense than the Naked Emperor | Third Ed Novak

  2. Pingback: The Naked Emperor: Part 6 | Third Ed Novak

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